Reza Farahan Recalls ‘Bittersweet’ Threesome‑Style Relationship with Bob Harper and Late Husband in New Memoir
Photo Credit: Bravo
by Chris Tremblay Apr 8
4 MIN READ
Reza Farahan, best known from Bravo’s Shahs of Sunset, has publicly detailed a past romantic and sexual relationship with The Biggest Loser trainer Bob Harper that he says eventually involved Harper’s late husband Scott in a threesome‑style dynamic. Farahan shares the account in connection with his memoir Memoirs of a Gay Shah, describing how an early professional connection with Harper developed into a close, physically intimate bond that did not become the committed relationship he had hoped for.
According to Farahan, the two first met while working in the fitness industry and quickly became, in his words, “inseparable,” spending extensive time together before their friendship “crossed the line” into a sexual relationship. He says he wanted a deeper, more defined partnership, but felt Harper was not interested in anything serious, so he chose not to press for exclusivity and instead allowed the relationship to remain casual.
Farahan notes that he is now married to Adam Neely and frames the period with Harper as an earlier chapter that shaped his understanding of what he wanted in a long‑term, loyal relationship. In past interviews, Farahan has been open about his marriage and about balancing reality‑TV visibility with his private life, including on Bravo platforms and related press coverage, though those earlier conversations did not include these new details about Harper.
Farahan says that what began as a fling took on new complexity when Harper later married a man named Scott, whom Farahan also came to know well. Rather than end contact once Harper entered a new marriage, Farahan recounts that he grew close with both partners, and that over time he understood the situation to have evolved into a threesome‑style arrangement among all three men.
He characterizes the experience as “bittersweet,” saying he did not harbor ill will toward Scott and emphasizing his affection for Harper and his spouse during that period, even as the emotional terrain remained complicated. Farahan also notes that Scott has since died, and he reflects on the relationship dynamic with a mix of tenderness and acknowledgment of the difficult feelings that came with not being a primary partner.
Farahan says that his ongoing closeness with the couple at the time challenged him to confront his own boundaries and needs in relationships, particularly around hierarchy, emotional security, and the desire to be a fully acknowledged partner rather than an auxiliary figure. He frames these reflections in the memoir as part of a broader narrative about queer relationships, chosen family, and the sometimes‑blurred lines between friendship, romance, and sexual connection in LGBTQ+ social circles.
Although the new memoir‑related account is the most detailed public description of the relationship, Harper had previously acknowledged a romantic past with Farahan on Bravo’s late‑night talk show Watch What Happens Live with Andy Cohen. In a 2015 segment, Harper told Cohen that he and Farahan “had a thing—a very, very long time ago,” adding, “It was a tawdry little thing! I love Reza though. I love him!” while declining to elaborate on specifics.
Following that on‑air revelation, Bravo’s Daily Dish reported that Farahan confirmed the pair had dated “very long ago,” joking that it was “in the early 1800s,” and said he and Harper remained in touch and had real‑estate business dealings, with Harper as his client. At the time of that report, Farahan was engaged to Adam Neely and expressed positive feelings toward Harper, calling him a dear friend and reiterating that there was no animosity between them.
The newly surfaced details extend that public narrative by describing how the earlier “thing” referenced on television unfolded over time and how it intersected with Harper’s subsequent marriage to Scott. Farahan also says the two men have stayed connected well into the present, noting that he recently assisted Harper in selling a house, underscoring that their relationship—while transformed—remains cordial and collaborative.
In discussing the emotional impact of the threesome‑style dynamic, Farahan describes the experience as a turning point that shifted how he viewed his worth and role in intimate relationships. He says it became clear to him that he did not want to be “anyone’s second choice,” framing the chapter with Harper and Scott as a catalyst for seeking a more stable, mutually committed partnership.
Farahan credits that realization with pushing him toward a vision of long‑term love that centered loyalty, emotional safety, and reciprocity—qualities he associates with his later marriage to Neely. In earlier Bravo coverage, Farahan has spoken about wanting greater affection and connection in his marriage, indicating a continued focus on honest communication and mutual care within his current relationship.
The memoir excerpts portray this evolution as part of a longer journey for Farahan as a gay Iranian American man navigating expectations from family, culture, and the reality‑TV spotlight. In other interviews, he has discussed the pressure of being openly gay in Persian communities while in the public eye, including in podcast appearances where he reflects on authenticity and personal growth, although those conversations predate the latest revelations about Harper.
Farahan’s decision to go on record about the threesome‑style relationship also reflects a broader trend of LGBTQ+ public figures using books and long‑form interviews to revisit and reframe earlier media narratives. His career, from Shahs of Sunset to new projects such as The Valley: Persian Style, has frequently involved candid discussions of queer relationships, friendship conflicts, and family expectations, making his private life a recurring subject of fan interest and tabloid coverage.
Harper, who publicly came out as gay on The Biggest Loser in 2013, has similarly seen aspects of his personal life—including past relationships—scrutinized in entertainment media, with Farahan’s name appearing in profiles and recaps of Harper’s dating history. The renewed focus on their connection, prompted by Farahan’s memoir discussion, situates their story within ongoing public conversations about non‑monogamy, emotional hierarchy, and the diverse structures of relationships among LGBTQ+ people, while relying primarily on Farahan’s own recollections and previously documented on‑air comments from Harper for the factual record.
Farahan notes that he is now married to Adam Neely and frames the period with Harper as an earlier chapter that shaped his understanding of what he wanted in a long‑term, loyal relationship. In past interviews, Farahan has been open about his marriage and about balancing reality‑TV visibility with his private life, including on Bravo platforms and related press coverage, though those earlier conversations did not include these new details about Harper.
Farahan says that what began as a fling took on new complexity when Harper later married a man named Scott, whom Farahan also came to know well. Rather than end contact once Harper entered a new marriage, Farahan recounts that he grew close with both partners, and that over time he understood the situation to have evolved into a threesome‑style arrangement among all three men.
He characterizes the experience as “bittersweet,” saying he did not harbor ill will toward Scott and emphasizing his affection for Harper and his spouse during that period, even as the emotional terrain remained complicated. Farahan also notes that Scott has since died, and he reflects on the relationship dynamic with a mix of tenderness and acknowledgment of the difficult feelings that came with not being a primary partner.
Farahan says that his ongoing closeness with the couple at the time challenged him to confront his own boundaries and needs in relationships, particularly around hierarchy, emotional security, and the desire to be a fully acknowledged partner rather than an auxiliary figure. He frames these reflections in the memoir as part of a broader narrative about queer relationships, chosen family, and the sometimes‑blurred lines between friendship, romance, and sexual connection in LGBTQ+ social circles.
Although the new memoir‑related account is the most detailed public description of the relationship, Harper had previously acknowledged a romantic past with Farahan on Bravo’s late‑night talk show Watch What Happens Live with Andy Cohen. In a 2015 segment, Harper told Cohen that he and Farahan “had a thing—a very, very long time ago,” adding, “It was a tawdry little thing! I love Reza though. I love him!” while declining to elaborate on specifics.
Following that on‑air revelation, Bravo’s Daily Dish reported that Farahan confirmed the pair had dated “very long ago,” joking that it was “in the early 1800s,” and said he and Harper remained in touch and had real‑estate business dealings, with Harper as his client. At the time of that report, Farahan was engaged to Adam Neely and expressed positive feelings toward Harper, calling him a dear friend and reiterating that there was no animosity between them.
The newly surfaced details extend that public narrative by describing how the earlier “thing” referenced on television unfolded over time and how it intersected with Harper’s subsequent marriage to Scott. Farahan also says the two men have stayed connected well into the present, noting that he recently assisted Harper in selling a house, underscoring that their relationship—while transformed—remains cordial and collaborative.
In discussing the emotional impact of the threesome‑style dynamic, Farahan describes the experience as a turning point that shifted how he viewed his worth and role in intimate relationships. He says it became clear to him that he did not want to be “anyone’s second choice,” framing the chapter with Harper and Scott as a catalyst for seeking a more stable, mutually committed partnership.
Farahan credits that realization with pushing him toward a vision of long‑term love that centered loyalty, emotional safety, and reciprocity—qualities he associates with his later marriage to Neely. In earlier Bravo coverage, Farahan has spoken about wanting greater affection and connection in his marriage, indicating a continued focus on honest communication and mutual care within his current relationship.
The memoir excerpts portray this evolution as part of a longer journey for Farahan as a gay Iranian American man navigating expectations from family, culture, and the reality‑TV spotlight. In other interviews, he has discussed the pressure of being openly gay in Persian communities while in the public eye, including in podcast appearances where he reflects on authenticity and personal growth, although those conversations predate the latest revelations about Harper.
Farahan’s decision to go on record about the threesome‑style relationship also reflects a broader trend of LGBTQ+ public figures using books and long‑form interviews to revisit and reframe earlier media narratives. His career, from Shahs of Sunset to new projects such as The Valley: Persian Style, has frequently involved candid discussions of queer relationships, friendship conflicts, and family expectations, making his private life a recurring subject of fan interest and tabloid coverage.
Harper, who publicly came out as gay on The Biggest Loser in 2013, has similarly seen aspects of his personal life—including past relationships—scrutinized in entertainment media, with Farahan’s name appearing in profiles and recaps of Harper’s dating history. The renewed focus on their connection, prompted by Farahan’s memoir discussion, situates their story within ongoing public conversations about non‑monogamy, emotional hierarchy, and the diverse structures of relationships among LGBTQ+ people, while relying primarily on Farahan’s own recollections and previously documented on‑air comments from Harper for the factual record.
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