Paris Jackson Calls Past Addiction Behavior ‘Really Ugly’ as She Marks Six Years Sober
BARCELONA, SPAIN - JUNE 06: Paris Jackson attends the photocall of the Desigual Fashion Show on June 06, 2024 in Barcelona, Spain.Photo Credit: Xavi Torrent
Paris Jackson is offering one of her most candid accounts yet of how addiction reshaped her sense of self, saying that when she was using drugs and alcohol, “the behavior is really ugly” and at odds with the values of kindness that guided her upbringing. Speaking on Jack Osbourne’s “Trying Not to Die” podcast, the 28‑year‑old daughter of the late Michael Jackson described how alcohol in particular stripped away her moral compass, turning her into what she called a “very vindictive person.”
Background and Context
Jackson has been in the public eye since childhood and has spoken in previous years about living with depression, self‑harm, and substance use, including past suicide attempts as a teenager. In 2017 interviews, she discussed using drugs in her mid‑teens and covering track marks and self‑harm scars with tattoos, framing that period as one marked by what she called “self-hatred” and feeling unworthy of living.
In January 2025, Jackson publicly marked five years of sobriety from alcohol and drugs, sharing that she identified as “an alcoholic and a heroin addict” while emphasizing that sobriety allowed her to “show up” for life in ways she could not previously. Earlier this year, she used social media to reflect on how getting sober did not instantly make life easy, describing in a reel that a few years into recovery, things became “very, very, very hard” and that she had to learn to live “on life’s terms.”
‘Really Ugly’ Behavior and Moral Conflict
In the “Trying Not to Die” conversation, released the week of May 26, Jackson drew a sharp line between the values she was taught and the way she behaved while actively using. “The behavior is really ugly,” she said, stressing that the ugliness was “in a moral way, because I was raised to be kind,” not merely “nice.” She described kindness as looking people in the eye and learning a server’s name so she could write it on the receipt, using small acts of consideration as examples of the standard she felt she failed to meet while drinking.
Jackson recalled thinking of herself as “a liar, a cheater, a piece of s---, a thief,” but even in that harsh self‑assessment, she believed she retained some moral grounding from her upbringing. She said that when she drank, that remaining moral compass “goes away” and “goes right out the window,” adding that under the influence, she became “a very vindictive person.”
She linked that shift in behavior to what she recognized as a broader pattern among people living with addiction, describing an “overall reachy, graspy energy” that she now says she sees in other addicts as well. “Reaching for something outside of yourself,” she said, framing that grasping quality as both a symptom of addiction and a source of harm to herself and others.
Treatment, Relapse, and Six Years of Sobriety
Jackson stated that she has been through treatment “several times,” both before and after the point at which she began her current stretch of sobriety. She said she first sought professional help around age 17, noting that she had already been struggling with self‑harm and complicated relationships with food before she ever had a drink or used drugs.
In the interview, she described her addiction as unfolding against a backdrop of “years and years and years of self-hatred,” echoing earlier public comments about long‑term depression and trauma. She confirmed in the podcast and in previous social media posts that she has now been sober for about six years, having celebrated that milestone in early 2026 with an Instagram reel showing moments from everyday life, including time with friends and nature.
Jackson has previously compared getting sober to being in a car accident, saying that “everything I shoved in the back seat moved forward on impact,” and that she is still learning to navigate life without the coping mechanisms she once relied on. In January 2026, she told followers that sobriety did not erase the “very, very, very hard” aspects of living with treatment‑resistant major depressive disorder, obsessive‑compulsive disorder , and complex post‑traumatic stress disorder , conditions she said she continues to manage alongside her recovery.
Public Conversation on Addiction and Stigma
Jackson’s latest remarks join a growing number of celebrity accounts that frame addiction as a chronic health condition intertwined with mental health, rather than a simple failure of willpower. By naming behaviors she now regards as harmful without labeling her past self solely as “bad,” her comments fit into a broader public health approach that emphasizes accountability, treatment, and long‑term recovery support.
Her acknowledgment of “reachy, graspy” behavior toward people and substances also resonates with how many addiction specialists describe the condition—as a persistent drive to seek relief or reward outside oneself, often at severe personal and relational cost. While Jackson did not position herself as a spokesperson for any formal recovery movement, her willingness to describe both her actions and her ongoing mental health diagnoses may contribute to more open discussion about seeking help, especially among young adults and LGBTQ+ people in entertainment who see aspects of their own experiences reflected in such narratives.
Looking Ahead in Public and Private Life
Beyond discussing her addiction history, Jackson continues to pursue her work as a musician and actor, appearing on programs such as “The Morning Show” and promoting her projects while maintaining what she has described as a substance‑free lifestyle. In recent appearances, she has emphasized simple routines—time in nature, creative work, and moments with friends—as part of how she supports her recovery day to day.
Her “Trying Not to Die” interview adds another layer to that public narrative, underlining that the work of staying sober includes confronting painful memories of how she treated others. By labeling her past behavior as “really ugly” while also recognizing the conditions that shaped it, Jackson positions her story as an evolving account of harm, repair, and ongoing recovery, rather than a closed chapter.
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